Yesterday, I wondered if I had anything useful to say about improving how people work together. While this topic is worthy of consideration, it’s a secondary concern.
The primary question on my mind is more about how any two people relate to each other. Sure, it matters how effectively we can work together. But we each have many connections outside of our work environments.
Is there a way for an individual to improve how she connects to everyone in her life?
Simon Sinek wrote a fun book called Together Is Better. We often find more meaning in life when we have strong personal relationships with others, be they family members, friends, lovers, or people at work.
How do we build stronger relationships?
Because this is a huge topic, I want to begin by considering a few things that cause relationships to rupture.
- Different expectations
- Different priorities
- Different boundaries
- Different beliefs
- Different loyalties
Suppose your car breaks down when your friend is at work. You may expect your friend to take time off work to give you a ride. Can your friendship survive if he chooses not to? Yes! But this may change the context of the relationship.
Suppose you want to study in Paris for a semester and your girlfriend wants to stay in your home town. Can your relationship survive these different priorities? Yes! But long-distance relationships can be difficult.
Suppose your abusive father slaps you in a moment of rage. Can you still talk to each other after he’s crossed this boundary? Yes! But you have to do a better job of protecting yourself.
Suppose your neighbor belongs to a different political party than you. Can you still treat each other well despite having different beliefs? Yes! But politics may not be the best topic of conversation to dive into.
Suppose your boss at work wants you to lie to a potential client. Can you disagree on what loyalty means? Yes! But you may be fired.
Just to be clear, I don’t think we need to try to improve every relationship in our lives. Instead, we want to do what it takes to allow our most important relationships to thrive.
That’s what I want to explore in another blog post!
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