Now that I’ve answered Question #1 (in parts 2 and 3), let’s move on to Question #2.
Is my life better or worse now (in 2024) than when I was a kid (in the early 1970’s)?
This is a difficult question to answer. The things we want and need and value change over time. Should I evaluate the question based on what I remember wanting as a kid, or what I want now, or both? Do I consider how all middle-aged men tend to differ from kids?
Are there some criteria that haven’t changed over time? Let’s start there. The following have always been important to me.
- Feeling safe (with enough air, water, food, clothing, and shelter)
- Feeling healthy
- Feeling loved
- Feeling that my stress levels are manageable
- Feeling that I’m growing
- Feeling that the work I do is meaningful
- Feeling good about my friendships (and society at large)
- Feeling free (that life is an adventure)
I’ve been very safe throughout my life. I’ve never gone without food, clothing, and shelter for very long. When I was a kid, my family did not have tons of money, but I always felt safe. Do I feel safer now? Not really. This criteria doesn’t provide much insight!
I am a bit less healthy now than when I was a kid. I’m a bit over-weight, I’m not as active, and I take more medications daily. My health is slightly worse now than when I was a kid.
While romantic love is not something I knew as a kid, I know I felt loved by my family. I still feel loved by my family today, in addition to feeling loved by my wife. So, I feel more loved now than when I was a kid.
As a kid, I did not experience chronic stress. Sure, I had some stressful days, and I experienced intense conflict at times, but I never felt very worried when I was out playing games. I feel a bit more stressed now than when I was a kid.
Every day, I try to learn something new. Personal growth has always been important to me. As a kid, so many things were new that I was constantly growing. Now, I have to go out of my way to experience that level of growth. I feel that I’m growing less now than when I was a kid.
As a kid, I didn’t do much work outside of my daily chores, which were not very meaningful. I had a lot of free time to play, which felt meaningful. Now, I do work that contributes to making the world a better place for patients who need blood and plasma. And I still take the time to play in a meaningful way! So, I feel that my life is filled with more meaningful work now than when I was a kid.
Friendships are important. Unfortunately, as adults, we often find it difficult to spend much time with our friends. There has been a societal shift in the USA in the years since I was a kid. People used to get together more often without needing a formal excuse to hang out. As a kid, I spent lots of time with my friends. While I still have good friends as an adult, I do not see them as frequently as I would like. I feel slightly worse about my friendships now than I did as a kid.
For me, freedom is related to the idea that life is an adventure. I want my days to be filled with new discoveries, exploration, and fun. I often felt free as a kid, even though there were lots of rules and tons of things I couldn’t do. College is probably the most adventurous time in my life. Now, I still experience various adventures, despite the many constraints on my time. I feel slightly less free now than I did as a kid.
Based on these criteria, I feel like my life is slightly worse now than when I was a kid. My childhood was awesome! My life now is pretty damn good.
But here’s the thing, I wouldn’t want to go back and be a kid again. I guess I’m not convinced this is the most useful question to ask. I’m more interested in how I can make my life even better at any age.
I’m also interested in what little things I can do to make the world a better place in the ways that matter most to me.
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