Unimpressed

My younger self would not be so impressed with me.

In college, I dreamed of getting a Ph. D. in physics. When push came to shove, I only got a master’s degree in physics.

This would have been okay if I had stuck with physics.

I taught math and physics for about five years after returning to Colorado. It was a noble endeavor, albeit one not worthy of a Nobel prize.

Then, I moved on to the aerospace industry. Initially, I conducted basic research, still related to physics. But this led me to mostly writing software. Through the years, I became more of a software engineer than a physicist.

My younger self would have accused me of “selling out”.

Money was a contributing factor. I was able to purchase a home as a software engineer.

This would have been nearly impossible if I had remained a community college physics teacher.

My younger self balked at the notion of just being a father with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Of course, he wanted to become a father someday; he just didn’t have a clue what that actually meant. My younger self had no way of knowing the value of putting family before some ideal career.

Over time, my career ambitions became more of an enabling factor than a primary goal. I began to understand why people didn’t mind choosing less-than-ideal jobs to support their families.

From my current vantage point, I’m fairly impressed with many things I “got right”. I’m mostly satisfied with my life choices. While I’ve made mistakes, I’ve also managed to honor the spirit of my younger self.