Subtext

When I re-read a partial draft of a screenplay I worked on a few years ago, I was struck by several scenes that lacked subtext. Of course, I also noticed that most scenes were more wordy than I would like.

Part of making characters believable is to prevent them from saying what they mean. Real people often hide what they’re thinking, or they use humor to deflect heavy emotions. They may be too embarrassed to say what’s really on their minds.

In fact, real people often annoy me when they don’t say exactly what’s on their minds. Why can’t others just be more like me? Oh… They are. As much as I value integrity, I often don’t say what’s on my mind. Instead of joking around, I tend to leave out significant details that would provide context. And this unfortunate behavior seeps into my writing.

I want to be more forthcoming.

Having said this, I also want to write scenes that involve more subtext. There’s no contradiction here, thank you very much!

Here are a few questions I might ask about these unfortunate scenes.

• What specific phrases don’t sound believable?
• What is really going on in the character’s mind?
• What subconscious thoughts influence the character’s words?
• How does this character fail to reveal what’s really going on?
• Why does this character want to hide or act on specific feelings?

The above questions are not exhaustive. They provide a way to get started in the process of adding subtext.

Here’s a partial example.

My protagonist wants to enlist her friends in a new activity. I don’t want her to say, “Please join me in this new activity.” Sure, that’s what she wants. But that doesn’t sound believable. She’s afraid they’re going to think she’s crazy. She’s unsure of herself. She’s never been much of a leader. Still, she wants them to trust her. Badly. Maybe she starts with a smaller ask and eases into talking about the new activity.

I need to get back to working on this!