Identity

It’s possible that I could write an entire book on this topic.

While in college, I took a class called Modernity and Identity. I thought about the topic before this. Afterward, I thought about it even more.

One of my favorite songs from the musical Les Miserables is “Who Am I?” While singing this song, Jean Valjean tries to come to terms with his conflicting desires, how he perceives himself, and how others may perceive him.

It’s an important question for each of us to consider. Which of our many identities resonate the most? And why?

Adam Grant considers identity in his book Think Again. Charles Duhigg includes the topic in his book Supercommunicators. Many others have also brought up discussions of identity lately.

The amazing thing about our world today is that you can be almost anything you might want to be. How extraordinary!

Yet, this can cause stress. What if the people you care about don’t want you to explore different identities? What if conflicting identities take root? Sometimes we feel the need to hide some of our identities from others.

I would like to live in a world where everyone you have contact with respects you for your differences and acknowledges the value of having different perspectives and values.

Unfortunately, that is not this world. While some people are tolerant of some differences, others are more threatened by people they consider outsiders. Sometimes we focus on just one aspect of who we are, and we place so much importance on it that we fail to connect with people who may have many things in common with us.

For example, if you and your friends happen to like vanilla ice cream, you might form a vanilla ice cream group. Then, if some outsiders enter the ice cream shop and order strawberry ice cream, you may think less of them for having the audacity to try a different flavor of ice cream. You may not speak to them, or you may even say something cruel. And you would never find out that while you like different flavors of ice cream, you happen to love the same music.

It’s a mistake to want everyone else to be just like you!

We should embrace the idea that our different identities have the power to enrich our lives. We just need to be more curious than judgmental.