Humans are Multifaceted

Although we may become known for just one thing, we are not just one thing. None of us are. Even the people who spend most of their hours doing just one thing are multifaceted.

I am a father, a son, a brother, and a husband. I’m a teacher, a student, a leader, and a follower. I can play these roles and so many others simultaneously. I’m an artist, a physicist, a computer programmer, a writer, a reader, a piano player, a dancer, a movie maker, and more.

It begs the question. Which of the roles we play should we incorporate into our identity? If I like going on hikes in the mountains, am I a hiker? Or is hiking just something I like to do now and then?

The stories we tell about ourselves have power. They have the power to transform our lives. It turns out that I’m a caregiver. I do many things to help care for my daughter. At this time in my life, I spend more time as a caregiver than as a physicist. Does that mean I should start introducing myself to others as a caregiver?

I don’t think so. The time we spend doing a specific activity isn’t always a measure of who we want to be. I’m always going to be a father who cares about my kids. What I do as a father is extremely important to me. Yet, as I grow older, I want to spend less time providing direct care to my daughter.

When we forge our identities, it’s not just about what we do. It’s about what we want to do. It’s about how we want to become better. It’s about the values that inspire us. It’s about what resonates within us.

While I spend a lot of time shopping, I don’t introduce myself as a shopper. I don’t aspire to do more shopping.

Have I ever told lies? Yes! Does that make me a liar? While I guess I qualify, I don’t aspire to be a liar. Labeling myself as a liar doesn’t tend to enrich my life. We all do things that we’re not particularly proud of doing. That doesn’t mean these things should be a core part of our identity.

We get to choose the stories we tell about our lives. We get to decide what truly matters to us. We can present ourselves as who we want to be. Which is never an exact reflection of who we are.

Our identities are always more and less than the actions we take each day. Humans are multifaceted.